Just the other day I was conducting some highly advanced research for this blog, AKA ask Google...when I stumbled across an article at Bible.org that really piqued my interest. (Link to the full article below) The article was centered around the experience of the Prophet Elijah in 1 Kings 18:21 in which Elijah asks the people of Israel "'How long will you hesitate between two opinions? If the LORD is God, follow Him; but if Baal, follow him.' But the people did not answer him a word." It finally dawned on me. I have been those people. I have not answered. I have remained indecisive and procrastinating in my walk of faith. This is a major breakthrough for me people!
For the past decade, while I have remained the uptight yogi, my Spirit has been quietly begging the question, will you choose me? At times I have shouted a resounding yes. But never long enough to hit my stride. The issue is...every time I have gotten my footing and communed with the Spirit for a few days, the Enemy has come and snatched it away. He has played all sorts of tricks on me. Has tried to lead me to believe that yoga was somehow outside the will of God. Conveniently made cigarettes and other toxins readily available for consumption. Has pitted my eclectic blend of faiths against one another so that my mind resembled a holy battlefield. Sparked conflict and contempt within some of my most intimate relationships. Convinced me somehow that, no-- that peace, that strength--none of that is for you, Lisa.
I have always fluctuated between faith and doubt. Deliberated about how I am supposed to believe. Contemplated, philosophized and researched the workings of the Spirit. All this ruminating and over analyzing translated into a wishy-washy faith walk and yoga practice. The fruit of my ambivalence at best have been inconsistency and at the very least bordering on insanity. It has only become clear to me very recently the nature of the decision that has to be made.
If I am really going to deepen my practice and commit to walking in Truth then I don't need philosophy. I don't need more abstract ideologies and dogmatic principles. What I do need is actually very simple. So simple that it is stunning to me that it has taken me ten years--at times untold pain and suffering--to realize.
#1 I need to talk to Jesus everyday. Whether that's verbally, in my mind, in written word or creative expression.
#2 I need to make space, time and stillness in my day so that I can actually hear what He is saying to me through the impressions of the Holy Spirit on my heart.
#3 Daily yoga and meditation practice will enable help me to cultivate this stillness .
That's it. And I need to do it every day. I need to decide--to choose-- my Spirit in each moment. Because the alternative is madness. The beautiful part about this go around is that I have now come to appreciate (so I hope), that I cannot do it on my own. Sheer will power will not be enough. If it were, this blog would not exist. This time I realize "my help comes from the Lord." Psalm 121:2